As the child of an alcoholic, chain smoking mother and a workaholic father during a time period where mother’s natural instincts were superseded by male doctors, to the point that breast feeding was abandoned, I grew up in an environment where there was little to no consistent palpable connection.
The current field of psychology with its Attachment and Affect Regulation Theories labels this lack of “attunement” to an infant and young child, along with other ongoing adverse child hood experiences as “Developmental Trauma”. Due to this I had underlying on going depression, insecurity and many miscellaneous health issues.
This history along with my natural inclination, (as my mother told me when I was 9 that “I really understand people”), is what spurred a lifelong quest to understand “what makes people happy?” This quest was also motivated by my own deep level of discontent and sense of not enough, unloveable and other core states of defectiveness that come from an underlying shame that exists as a result of this lack of initial Self building connection. These feelings of inadequacy (no matter how successful I was in the outer world) were only enhanced by many poor choices I made in relationships.
So much has changed since these first challenged beginnings. I not only researched what creates change but I applied myself whole heartedly. My first book Express Yourself: Discover Your Inner Truth, Creative Self and the Courage to Let it Out, took me 7 years to write and was my first attempt at expressing all that I had learned and discovered up to that point, to help me move beyond the inherent sense of inadequacy that was lodged deep within my cellular memories. That was published in approximately 2000. When I did radio interviews for this book I had distilled what was in this book down to 4 Keys at first.
Now many years later with more life experience, trainings and working with more people as a workshop facilitator and counselor, I have enhanced the existing keys, added more tools, and explained more concepts to help people understand their emotions and challenges. With this I refined it to 7 Powerful Keys. The new book is called
7 Keys to Connection
I also have come to understand that so many of the woes of our culture come from a great sense of Disconnection that I talk about in the book as “the Great Disconnect.” Hence the sub title:
How to Move Beyond the Physical and Emotional Trauma of a Disconnected Culture
The Antidote to all this is contained within this new book.
The work described in the book and the personal counseling I do, provides an approach to addictions and other soul illness that I describe as Beyond 12 Step. More about that in the 7 Keys to Connection Book. More about my counseling approach on The Work drop down on this site: One on One work with Dr. Joy Beyond 12 Step Counseling with Dr. Joy