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Free & Connected Blog

Is Suicide REALLY such a mystery!

Do we REALLY not know what is causing such increases in Suicide in recent years?

  • I just read a few e-articles in the New York Times e-zine on Suicide. Here is the beginning of one of them:

“ The deaths of the designer Kate Spade and the chef Anthony Bourdain, both of whom committed suicide this week, were not simply pop culture tragedies. They were the latest markers of an intractable public health crisis that has been unfolding in slow motion for a generation.

Treatment for chronic depression and anxiety — often the precursors to suicide — has never been more available and more widespread.  (yeah with drugs and simple talk therapy) Yet the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention this week reported a steady, stubborn rise in the national suicide rate, up 25 percent since 1999.

The rates have been climbing each year across most age and ethnic groups. Suicide is now the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Nearly 45,000 Americans killed themselves in 2016, twice the number who died by homicide.

After decades of research, effective prevention (and treatment) strategies are lacking. It remains difficult, perhaps impossible, to predict who will commit suicide, and the phenomenon is extremely difficult for researchers to study.”

I disagree!  I know many amazing therapists who work with depression, anxiety, shame and more.  They work somatically and are trauma informed. (see resources on the web site)  Not just for intense episodes of trauma – called shock trauma, but the type that effects a huge % of our American (and westernized) culture: Developmental Trauma.   It’s the trauma that occurs not only in cases of abuse, rape, and other horrific situations, but that occurs in our average American household.  And it is Developmental trauma that is underneath pretty much all depression and anxiety.

Developmental Trauma starts as early as pre-birth in utero and especially in those first 3 years.  Even the well meaning parents can inflict this on their young infants when they are stressed, preoccupied with survival, upsets with a spouse, or carrying their own inabilities to truly attune and connect due to the issues and inabilities of their parents.

Nervous system regulation is the job of the parents.  This means the ability to have a child feel safe, calm and fully “here” on this planet in those early days and years.  But the state of our culture, being so disconnected in many ways, has the caregivers not able to accomplish this very important life task.  What occurs with this is a physiological response to fear and threat, which is what happens when we don’t get the attunement we are designed to get.  How it effects our nervous system and hence our emotions, only gets anchored in over time, and the feelings intensifies.  It is why so many turn to addictions… to escape the feelings associated with this contracted, amped up or shut down physiological state we are left in.

And now, it has only gotten worse over the years, with the advent of screens of every kind becoming part of daily life, many hours of that life, and creating yet more distancing and lack of connection.   It’s our human birthright and need to connect to other humans, in a meaningful way.  This has become so rare in our materialistic and driven culture.

Notice these statements about suicide from one of the NY Times articles:

“The analysis found that slightly more than half of people who had committed suicide did not have any known mental health condition. But other problems — such as the loss of a relationship, financial setbacks, substance abuse and eviction — were common precursors…..

Social isolation, lack of mental health treatment, drug and alcohol abuse and gun ownership are among the factors that contribute to suicide.”

But there are enough trained professionals, who truly understand what I am writing about who can help those who feel helpless, alone, and like there is no way out.  I don’t know why people, who know they need to go to a “doctor” for their body, don’t immediately think to go to a professional for their emotional body.

If it money and you don’t have insurance, there are organizations that offer free or inexpensive counseling, sometimes training institutes, and certain practitioners who charge less or work on donation sometimes.  If you want the help it can be found.

So much can be said about all this.  7 Keys to Connection offers understanding and remedies to this wide spread issue.  It starts with a changed relationship within ourselves, and ultimately yes, very importantly with others.  With enough inner change – that will be reflected back from others in time.  Yet while doing the inner work I cannot stress enough the importance of working with someone who understands trauma, somatic therapies and all I am speaking about here,

So don’t sit and suffer alone to the point of suicide.  Reach out, read, research, and most importantly take action. Whether its to go to a progressive professional (see list of resources on this web site), read a book and do the actions or exercises the book suggests, or go to a clinic, or even an AA type meeting (even if you don’t have a specific addiction – suicidal ideation is enough of an addiction) or reach out for connection to someone or at very least go connect with  nature.

I am interested in your (the readers of this blog) view on this whole topic


Joy Freeman