I have learned and continue to learn how important it is to do what ever it takes to Express your Soul’s Voice. That can take the form of speaking our truth, even if we fear the response. Say it kindly, but still express it. Even if we feel embarrassed about it or if it might seem silly, or unimportant. Or worse that we might be judged for, or experience someone else’s intimidating behavior. It is important to at least know and acknowledge to ourselves with out judgement what a part of us feeling. (More about this on Overview of the Work Page)
We are taught “be quiet” or “don’t make waves” or way back – as children we may have heard “children are to be seen and not heard”…that’s a potent one! And the list goes on about why we should not express what we feel or what is true for us. Partly because only certain emotions are acceptable while a whole range of feelings are just “not Ok”.
A big aspect of growing our self esteem/self love is to honor first within ourselves what we are feeling, that is all emotions, even those deemed not Ok by the culture, and then as we grow in courage and strength to be able to express in words (not raging) what it is that we need to express.
Co-dependency – what happens as an effect of not expressing
My definition of Co-dependency is when we alter the truth of who we are, in what we say or don’t say, do or don’t do or otherwise inhibit our true selves in order to prevent a reaction/response from another or do what we feel is protecting them from their feelings. It also expands out to over caretaking – meaning going beyond what might otherwise be seen as normal loving behavior. This includes putting so much attention on others needs as an over compensation for what we did not get ourselves. And in so doing not giving ourselves the care and focus that we need from and for ourselves. In essence abandoning ourselves.
All of this leads to a shut-down within the lines of communication between our inner parts and our Soul Self. With this we lose connection with our true inner self, and with that we lose the ability to know what is truly best for us, what would ultimately bring health and joy to our lives. In addition, we lose the ability to take risks toward what would create a meaningful life that matches the truth of who we are. The Free and Connected work (In 7 Keys Book or private work) unpacks all this and helps to turn it all around.
Acts of Creative Expression, ie singing, dancing, art, theater, gardening, time in nature and much more feed our Soul Selves. (see Chapter 8, 7 Keys to Connection book) They grow this Soul Self’s presence in our lives over all the other voices of judgement, self pity, and on and on. The larger the Soul Self and its Voice in our lives, the easier it is to speak and other wise express our truths, which in turn grows the presence of our Soul Self…. like an upward spiral. Creative expression feeds our Soul Self, Soul Self enhances the ability to speak our truth, which enhances our inner joy, which makes it easier to speak our truths….and on up around!